VANCOUVER, Canada.
The world is increasingly unsettled by the unceasing appearance of severed feet on the Canadian coast. The press has been as puzzled as the layman, but finally there is a clue as to the provenance of the feet and the cause of their separation from the people they had belonged to.
Sarah M., member of a local art ensemble, pointed the author of this article towards a dancer-friend of hers who would like to remain anonymous, yet provided us with staggering revelations that are very likely to solve the pending mystery: The dancer himself had me admitted to our meetings only after he had been seated down at a large table hiding his own nether extremities which were, moreover, further concealed by a floating robe, that played around his foot or feet, obviously hinting at some possible abnormality or mutilation.
We were presented with a supposedly authentic invitation stemming from the ranks of the Canadian rock group Nickelback, concerning a casting for a new music video to be shot - as the document said - "over a period of several days" (suspiciously rare for an enterprise of the sort).
[...]
Kris "The Dude" Dawson, the band's manager, however, denied any connection between the accumulative loss of feet and the indefinitely prolonged shooting of the video for Nickelback's new single "Since You're Gone (I've Been Dancing On Razorblades Above The Pacific)".
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The world is increasingly unsettled by the unceasing appearance of severed feet on the Canadian coast. The press has been as puzzled as the layman, but finally there is a clue as to the provenance of the feet and the cause of their separation from the people they had belonged to.
Sarah M., member of a local art ensemble, pointed the author of this article towards a dancer-friend of hers who would like to remain anonymous, yet provided us with staggering revelations that are very likely to solve the pending mystery: The dancer himself had me admitted to our meetings only after he had been seated down at a large table hiding his own nether extremities which were, moreover, further concealed by a floating robe, that played around his foot or feet, obviously hinting at some possible abnormality or mutilation.
We were presented with a supposedly authentic invitation stemming from the ranks of the Canadian rock group Nickelback, concerning a casting for a new music video to be shot - as the document said - "over a period of several days" (suspiciously rare for an enterprise of the sort).
[...]
Kris "The Dude" Dawson, the band's manager, however, denied any connection between the accumulative loss of feet and the indefinitely prolonged shooting of the video for Nickelback's new single "Since You're Gone (I've Been Dancing On Razorblades Above The Pacific)".
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms Lewinsky."